norbertsmom
arollercoasterthatonlygoesup:


“So, did you like it, then?” she asks. “The wrestling, I mean.”
“I did,” he says. “Why?”
“It’s just … you never talk about it, really. But you look happy here. Which, considering the fact that you said you lost …”He drops his head down to his hands, groaning dramatically. “I’m never gonna live that down, am I? Even from my wife! Rye and I are gonna have to have a talk.”She laughs. “You told me. It was one of the first things we really talked about.”He looks up at her through the crack between his fingers. “Oh. Yeah. I guess you’re right.”“Of course I am. The question still stands. Were you really happy?”“Yeah,” he says. “I was happy. It was such a big deal, it coming down to the two of us. And Rye was much better than me. I mean, I wasn’tbad — I did make it to the final round, after all.”“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “Definitely.”“But Rye just had a knack for it. You know?” he asks.“Not really,” she admits. “I didn’t realize that was the sort of thing you could have aknack for. Knocking people over and holding them down.”His jaw drops in mock-offense. “Oh, Katniss. Katniss, Katniss, Katniss.”“What?” she asks.“It’s not like it’seasy. It takes skill. And practice. You don’t just knock people over. You have to have other things working for you, too. Like, for instance, the element of surprise.”She tenses. She’s not sure why. Maybe she’s expecting for him to tackle her or something. But he doesn’t, he just goes back to folding his clothes.

Chapter twenty five is up!! Read it on AO3 or FF.N 

arollercoasterthatonlygoesup:

“So, did you like it, then?” she asks. “The wrestling, I mean.”

“I did,” he says. “Why?”


“It’s just … you never talk about it, really. But you look happy here. Which, considering the fact that you said you lost …”

He drops his head down to his hands, groaning dramatically. “I’m never gonna live that down, am I? Even from my wife! Rye and I are gonna have to have a talk.”

She laughs. “You told me. It was one of the first things we really talked about.”

He looks up at her through the crack between his fingers. “Oh. Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am. The question still stands. Were you really happy?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I was happy. It was such a big deal, it coming down to the two of us. And Rye was much better than me. I mean, I wasn’tbad — I did make it to the final round, after all.”

“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “Definitely.”

“But Rye just had a knack for it. You know?” he asks.

“Not really,” she admits. “I didn’t realize that was the sort of thing you could have aknack for. Knocking people over and holding them down.”

His jaw drops in mock-offense. “Oh, Katniss. Katniss, Katniss, Katniss.”

“What?” she asks.

“It’s not like it’seasy. It takes skill. And practice. You don’t just knock people over. You have to have other things working for you, too. Like, for instance, the element of surprise.”

She tenses. She’s not sure why. Maybe she’s expecting for him to tackle her or something. But he doesn’t, he just goes back to folding his clothes.

Chapter twenty five is up!! Read it on AO3 or FF.N 

booronesskika

hermionejg:

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

Someone get this lady a book deal because I want to read Tolstoy length books by her.

youarebeingridiculous

anonalece asked:

There should be a fall-themed drabble about Peeta in a sweater stat! Your sweater post has pointed out the glaring lack of Peeta wearing in sweaters to me.

youarebeingridiculous answered:

Oh my god you are so right!

We really need this ASAP.  Especially if he has the sleeves of his sweater pushed up a little bit and you can see his forearms…

Peeta hard at work raking leaves while the toastbabies jump in the piles and then teaching the toastbabies how to carves a pumpkin or paint their pumpkins because he’s scared of one of them getting hurt with the knife…And Peeta is very intense while he is carving his own pumpkin and Katniss stands in the doorway and basically watches him be the world’s most perfect dad.

Okay now I am just giving myself feels.

I need this.